Relationship Advice

The maturity that you need to understand these issues can only be gained through time and experience. You sound like a sensible girl who wants to handle this the right way and can’t help it if your feelings get hurt. Since you don’t have kids, try to think of your own relationship with your father. Did you have a step-mother? If not, try to imagine having one and having her feel jealous of the time and attention your father gave you. You’d be indignant, right? He’s your father and he was so before she ever came into the picture.

Also, remember that these kids are probably feeling similar feelings about you and as kids they have no where near the maturity to handle it properly. So they may be awful to you at times. This doesn’t help matters on your end at all, does it? It only makes you resent them more.

If you want to be the first and only love in your man’s life, then find a man who has never loved (and who has no kids) and then good luck with that. If you want to spend your life with this man, then learn to accept your role as just one of the people in his life whom he loves and cherish that role and its unique place in his life. No other woman will be what you are to him, not even his daughters.

As for feeling left out, try to think of it as a chance to go and do fun things yourself. Spend some time with friends, go shopping, read a book. Not to say that you should never try to join in with your man and his daughters’ activities–on the contrary you should watch for opportunities to share that time with them and get to know those girls. But don’t begrudge them some time alone with their dad. After all, didn’t you have special times alone with your dad? If not, it’s too bad. Those times are priceless.

Young pregnant mother knows that I desire to get in her blouse and not to try it on. How does one move a relationship forward when the girl does not like me?

If she has no interest in you, then you don’t…its that simple. You can’t make her change her mind about you, but if you are really bent on doing this, you can become her friend first…

Not to mention…I don’t know about this girl but I personally would not be interested in being friends with a guy who’s admitted main interest is getting into my blouse.

A guy once scared the shit out of me because he kept insisting to be close to me when I didn’t like him and made clear that I didn’t.. I went as far as getting myself a boyfriend so he would get the hint and he still didn’t.. showed up in places i went to just to "run in to me".. and parked in front of my house… "cause he had to stop for a minute so he could rearrange something in his van".. stuff like that.. very eeerieeee and I would advice you to just "LEAVE HER ALONE IF SHE DOESN’T LIKE YOU!!!!"

i live with a girl who is my ex-girlfriend , been living with her so long that you could say that we are almost a married couple that have never been married ,……stong words that i dont except, been with her for eight years atleast , in that time ive’ve been on and off with several women and trying to work it out with anyone of them , they see how possive she is and they don t want to be with me any more … so now this has become a pattern for anyother relationship i might have …. to go further would be almost dangerous and hideous for me to think about .. so later on in years to come ,, like as the last two years to be exact.. i have found not one but three to four other women . not all my fault , i turn to them for friendship and trust that i do not have with my ex who is not only suppose to take on the roll of friendship with love but what i give as friendship in return.

Let me explaine …. When you become involved with some one you are some what suppose to have this idea in your mind as well as in theirs , like if you or what you want out of the person , like friendship .. well most relationships start off with just that some begin with love . so they say …. when they start off with love. you still some where in the love have to have a number of things to have the relationship. like trust honor and friendship…and also partnership aswell this and somuch more is the base of the relationship.. you have to believe in the person fully 100%of the time .. then they will believe in you ,,, well for now i will leave you with this a s a thought .

to go back to my story after telling you a boring theory , The four women all say the same thing about me . so i can not go anywhere because i am stuck here living with such a person that i no more can stand to live with anymore. nothing sexuall happens between us anymore , it has not for years . so i find some one who wants to share with me and i tell them things a s a friend in need of a shoulder and then it turns into much more unintended .. all ended up the same way , only now i can not clean up the mess that i made , they all tel l me that it is something about me that they have not seen in anyone else that they have met before or dated and how it is harder to let go of me more then it was to anyone else that they have met before.. i am just an ordinary man in my 30’s so for now that is all , i will continue later. thanks and any advice this far , email me direct.. jim

Q. What in the world did the state of Kansas think it was doing by allowing creationism to be taught in the schools–returning to the Dark Ages?

Not exactly, by my reckoning. Even if it did, it seems that the Dark Ages weren’t as bad as they’re cracked up to be. Except they had lighting problems. Compared to global warning, is that so terrible?

Creationists whose conviction that God made things basically just the way they are now, except for breakfast cereals, stoutly reject the theory of evolution’s claim that life emerged through natural selection from primordial ooze. The creationists protest that if the Darwinists erase God as the creator, there goes the biblical neighborhood.

The Darwin crowd, meanwhile, can argue their case scientifically and dub their foes as dreamers and romantics with a feeble grasp on reality. From another direction, many scholars of the Bible think the Scriptures themselves don’t support creationism.

In Kansas they outlawed the teaching of evolution as pure fact, rather than as the theory it is–albeit a theory backed up with loads of evidence. The kids cans still hear all about this in science class. The creationists get their day in court by introducing their theory of how everything began (something evolutionists don’t delve into) and can offer the hypothesis that in the beginning God created all forms, from snails to humans–without necessarily excluding the possibility that life has evolved within those forms.

So creationists receive a platform for their faith theory of a personal creator within Kansas classrooms, while evolutionists go on explaining how life emerged in the details. Which perhaps returns the state only back to the High Middle Ages.

Q. Why don’t we hear more about Jesus’ views on premarital sex?

Compared to our current arbiters of sexual behavior, Drs. Laura and Ruth, Jesus had little to say on the subject. It’s doubtful that if Jesus had a lucrative radio or television show he would have said much more.

Jesus was a Jew who, so far as we know, embraced the accepted the moral codes of his tradition. Sexual relations belonged within the category we called marriage, though marriage was sometimes less rigidly defined than our pristine, Westernized version. So let’s say "committed relationships." For Jesus, it seems, sex was never isolated but was part of human relations in general. Further, he called on his followers to rise above the conventional morality to higher ground–to the Kingdom of God, where the ultimate standard for behavior and thought was love. This is where some Christians believe that the rightness or wrongness of some actions, like premarital sex, can be judged only by the motives and intentions of those involved, whether or not they seek a higher good. Much as this flexibility might appeal in the backseat of an old Mustang, where in the heat of the moment the definition of "highest good" can get slippery, the standard of love is actually pretty tough; it challenges those in the grips of passion to take a great deal of responsibility. How much easier is it simply to say oooops to the inflexible adultery commandment than to search one’s own heart? It’s probably safe to say that Jesus would have seen most premarital sex (and postmarital sex, for that matter) as sorely lacking in blessedness. The highest good is out there, but the tendency to substitute lesser goods and invite larger dangers remains ready to subvert it.

Q. Why did it take the Catholic Church so long to apologize to the Jews and other people the church has persecuted?

Many people–and entire institutions–break out in a rash at the mere thought of saying they’re sorry. Human orneriness is hard to dislodge. If, in addition to that congenital defect, you happen to believe that you have been given the whole, undiluted truth that some people refuse to accept, well, you’ll be inclined to press on without feeling any need to say you make serious errors. Jews have been in the past branded as infidels and suffered egregiously for it. The persecutors acted in the name of divine truth.

The pope has edged just beyond this never-say-you’re-sorry block by allowing that some Catholics have behaved badly in the past. But he’s also reluctant to acknowledge any wrongdoing on the part of the church itself–like corporate officers who fire misbehaving employees while ignoring their own and the company’s role in the nefarious schemes.

It’s an old story. Convinced of our own grasp of what’s right, we deny anything that challenges the sanctity of our righteousness. The pope has shown some humility in breaking the pattern, at least superficially. Much remains to be done.

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