Relationship Advice

The maturity that you need to understand these issues can only be gained through time and experience. You sound like a sensible girl who wants to handle this the right way and can’t help it if your feelings get hurt. Since you don’t have kids, try to think of your own relationship with your father. Did you have a step-mother? If not, try to imagine having one and having her feel jealous of the time and attention your father gave you. You’d be indignant, right? He’s your father and he was so before she ever came into the picture.

Also, remember that these kids are probably feeling similar feelings about you and as kids they have no where near the maturity to handle it properly. So they may be awful to you at times. This doesn’t help matters on your end at all, does it? It only makes you resent them more.

If you want to be the first and only love in your man’s life, then find a man who has never loved (and who has no kids) and then good luck with that. If you want to spend your life with this man, then learn to accept your role as just one of the people in his life whom he loves and cherish that role and its unique place in his life. No other woman will be what you are to him, not even his daughters.

As for feeling left out, try to think of it as a chance to go and do fun things yourself. Spend some time with friends, go shopping, read a book. Not to say that you should never try to join in with your man and his daughters’ activities–on the contrary you should watch for opportunities to share that time with them and get to know those girls. But don’t begrudge them some time alone with their dad. After all, didn’t you have special times alone with your dad? If not, it’s too bad. Those times are priceless.