Relationship Advice

The reality is that relationships is a two way street. Both of you must give and take in order for this to work. At this point because his kids are under aged, they w ill be the most important thing in his life. There is his CHILDREN. If you came first, I would have to wonder what kind of man he was. You should not feel jealous of them. It’s hard after being a dad and a husband to start your own life, and sometimes be a part-time Daddy. Believe, I have seen this happen with an ex. YOu must lift him up and support his efforts in being a father. Step in and be a step mom. It’s a package deal, whether you want it or not, their coming with him in this deal. I don’t think your being selfish, what you feel is normal for a yong woman your age. It’s a hard road to travel. I know this by experience too. and Im two, almost three years older than you.

Sit down and have a heart to heart with him. Say something to the effect like " Listen, I care for you and your children very deeply. All of you are very important in my life. However, sometimes I feel like Im left out of the game. I want to be more part of your life and your family. But in order for me to do this, I need more support from you." And let him know your not mad, or upset, show it in your voice, because if you don’t he’ll feel pressured and confronted. Men hate this, they feel like a cornered possum. Just tell him in a regular, and calm voice. Don’t give ultimatums, choices, or complaints. It won’t work to your advantage.

If this doesn’t work then it doesn’t hurt to see a relationship therapist. This person will help you two, without really being directly involved on how to share the feelings, and responsibilities in t he relationships. Seeing one does not mean there’s problems, it is merely bringing in a non-biased mediator to help each of you to see the other side and help you learn to meet in the middle. Right now both of you are far off the the right and left….