Relationship Advice

I know what you must be going thu as I have put my wife thru similar times.It is basically my own insecurity and need to control her that caused me to behave this way.The end result was that she is finally on her own.Its been a couple of months and for a while I was sure she had got involved with this guy ( a friend of mine and a recovering alcoholic ) She tried a lot to reassure me, but like your husband I was unstable and swung from "understanding husband" to "jealous guy".Today at my expense I know that there was nothing between them except platonic love.I could never understand it, still cant really cause I cannot imagine having a close relationship with any woman and not trying to make a pass at least.I am emotionally upset today at her not wanting to have much to do with me, but as it happens I do love her a lot, and today when I see the amount of courage that girl has found in herself, looking at it dispassionately I see how much she gave up to try and please me.I hate to say it, but the truth is that she is doing better without me today then she ever did in our 16 yrs of marriage.I pray that this seperation is only temporary, but I will not blame her for not wanting to reconcile ( she may be scared of becoming a doormat again).Regarding sex she did initiate it many a time but I used it as a tool to control her as we did have good sex together. Take a break before u get to a stage that you get forced into breaking away.Its horrible for both parties.