Relationship Advice

i agree with you totally.. altho I am not a bigger girl most of my friends are, and they have the most WONDERFUL men i have ever seen. This world is full of all different shapes, sizes, colors, etc… If we were all the same could you ever imagine how boring this world would be? I think that people that put posts up that are negative about others really are NOT sure of themselves… my advice to them is grab a mirror.. altho you may think that you are 100% wonderful and there is nothing wrong with you.. you would be surprised at what the world thought of you!!!! Also dont just grab a mirror grab a piece of paper and mark down all your strong points and weak points… then you will see that you too have something to work ok! Monika I checked out your site… you are a VERY beautiful woman (and no guys im not hitting on her.. im secure with myself to be able to tell another woman how beautiful she is). And your site looks good…. I loved the tests and have forwarded them to my friends… so be sure that you will be getting lots of hits for that section of your site *wink*… Lets try to stay friendly with each other…. rudeness in my eyes is just a form of immaturity and that there is something wrong within you!

Well, I was 3 months shy of 18 and I have to say the only thing I regret is that I gave it to the guy I did and not to another..lol. I think it was the right age and I don’t think I should’ve waited nor done it any sooner. I had a wonderful sexual experience. I married the first guy I had sex with 2 months later and until he started cheating on me, I thought we had a pretty decent sex-life… his cheating was an ego thing, not a lack of sex (even though right before I mustered enough courage to get a divorce.. at that point I kind of quit enjoying sex for a while, partly due to depression I think). Anyway, I still have to say that I loved my first time. The only negative experience I’ve had with sex is that some guys try to blame their own failure on the girl.. only by then I had enough compliments that I just plain out dumped the guy when he told me I wasn’t any good, instead of getting depressed…lol. Told him to buy a dead fish, for they don’t move… In Love and Light,

Hi I’m in a relationship with a woman that I really like and seek advice. She is a very sweet woman and seems to like me. When we first met she was very "touchy" and playful toward me. When we were in front of her friends she hardly touched me though. When we were alone later at a bar she was again very touchy. When I saw her the other day she didn’t lay a hand on me in her own home. Tonight I’m going with her and some friends to a bar. I already told this woman I want to be friends to start out and nothing more. She agreed that being friends was the best start. After the second date though she said she was very attracted to me and wanted to sleep with me, yet she doesn’t want a boyfriend.

What helped with my diabetic friend was a cock ring; sorry if I am getting too graphic here. Diabetes is, to put it mildly, a pretty stinking disease; one of the things it affects are nerves. Diabetics frequently get numbness, or burning in their legs and feet; this is known as peripheral neuropathy. The diabetes can also affect the nerves feeding blood flow to the penis; it can be described as a case where the spirit is willing but the flesh is definitely weak. Many men can achieve partial erection or can maintain an erection for a short period of time only. Anything that "holds" the blood flow in the penis will help maintain an erection. A cock ring slips over the penis and is tightened at the base of the shaft; it helps to keep the blood from flowing backwards out of the shaft. Viagra works (in some, but not all men) by encouraging extra blood flow to the penis. There are some contraindications if he is on certain heart medications; plus the stuff is pretty expensive . Some men use a vacuum pump and cock ring combination; the pump is used to draw blood into the penis and the ring holds it in place. Other techniques include injections into the penis (some men can do this, some can’t), and some surgical interventions that involve implanting a plastic rod or pump into the underside of the penis. Tell your friend to make an appointment with a urologist; this is a VERY common problem, not only in diabetic men but those with hypertension. It’s also important to remember that the man can still climax even with just a partial erection. Scott was able to enjoy sex but without the cock ring, vaginal sex was a little difficult as it was hard to enter half erect.

Well, I DID say that some of the female behaviors you were bitching about sounded like a 20something Thing, and that your SOLE stated criterion for a suitable grrl (beauty) also sounded peculiarly 20something-ish. Having lived in a resort-type town for a minute myself, however, after reading your explanation I tend to think you really ARE plonked down there in an environment that is HEAVILY populated by emotionally superficial Beautiful People with way too much money & time on their hands and way too little incentive to look for (or BE) anything "deeper" than Party-Grrls/Boiz. This is so obvious I cringe to inquire, but have you tried placing a personal ad, either on the Net or tradmedia…? Now THAT I can discourse about, from firsthand experience, at truly nauseating length.

My brother broke it off with his girlfriend recently, partly because she was extremenly jealous. He was never allowed to even talk about his previous girlfriends and he felt like he had to look away from television and movies when a beautiful woman came on the screen, etc. It made him really uncomfortable.

Jealousy is a weird thing. I think it is human nature because all species of primates get jealous. I saw this documentary once about the sex lives of chimps. They live in fear worse than we do. Think about it, there is no law in the wild. If you are a weak male chimp, you’ll die a virgin or get killed because you had sex with one of the females that you weren’t allowed to touch. And the females have no choice about who has sex with them whatsoever. Pretty brutal. I guess you could say, it’s a jungle out there. : )

But thinking about it like rational civilized people… There are only two genders, so half the people in the world are guys and the other half are girls. So if you tell your boyfriend he can’t be friends with other girls, you’ve effectively cut off half of the people in the world he could have been friends with.

Most people would agree that it is fine to have friends even if they are of the opposite gender. But then the fear factor comes in. If the boyfriend socializes with other girls, he might decide to leave you for one of them. Then it snowballs into a big issue and it seems like every girl you see is flirting with your boyfriend and it seems like he is flirting right back.

Here are the key factors. If your boyfriend is going to leave you for another girl, then it isn’t going to matter if you don’t allow him to talk to other girls. In fact, restricting his social life would probably make him leave sooner. But if he is going to stay with you, then it is because he loves you and it would not matter how many girls he is friends with or if they flirt with him or not.

Jealousy comes from fear and insecurity. We all want to be secure in our relationships. The best form of security is in knowing that you have placed no restrictions on your boyfriend and he stays with you anyway. If you lay down rules and laws that prevent him from socializing with other girls, how will you ever know if he is with you because he loves you or simply because he is afraid of meeting other girls. Would it really make you feel loved to know that your boyfriend is only with you because he feels like he in not allowed to leave? Probably not. But think how great you would feel if your boyfriend was free to do whatever he wanted and he had lots of female friends and he still chose to be with you.

The most healthy relationships I have ever seen have been the most free and open ones. And those people always sem to be the most secure and happy people in the world.

Sometimes time and distance can make people realize that they made the biggest mistakes of their lives but breaking up with someone. Work on your self confidence issue. YOu are a good, wonderful person who has no reason to be jealous of anyone. Take a break from each other and see other guys and work on being more self confident. You might want to let guys approach you and do most of the calling and persuing in the beginning of the relationship. That way you know that they like you and want to be with you and you only you. If you let guys persue it gives you that sought after and cherished feeling of being loved and I bet your insecurites and jealousies will go away. You will have that smug secure feeling of know that he like you and wants to be you and you will have no reason to be jealous. He will not notice other women since you let him persue you. Try my advice and let me know how you do.

I don’t know what to do.I feel like I have to be at 2 places at once and I can’t be.I just don’t know what to do and I am in a big mess.Something happened in college exactly what I was afraid that would happen.I don’t feel comfortable saying what it is though.I have been feeling a little better since then.I want to say but i don’t want to let my secret out.Only my family knows what it is and a couple of my sisters friends like to.I didn’t even want to tell anyone but I did.I feel so guilty because I love the love of my life so much and I can’t see myself giving him up.I guess that i will say what it is .I like someone in one of my classes at the college I still love the love of my life very much.Things have been weird since I have started to like the boy in my class.I have been seeing the love of my life more especially when I really start thinking about this other boy.I am confused right now.The boy that I was talking about is graduating next month.I want to talk to him but ! I am afraid to.I don’t know wh at to say to him and I don’t want him to find out that I like him either.

You sound like you’re about twelve years old. You are certainly not mature enough for a serious committed relationship so why not date as many guys as you like? As for how to talk to this guy, why not ask him something about an assignment or an exam? "Did you get the notes from yesterday’s class?" "What did you think of that exam?" "Have you started writing the essay yet?" "What do you think of the instructor?"

Your husbands jealousies have to do with his own insecurities nothing you have said or done. Please think about trying to go to counseling or talk to your husband about what is happening. If not as sad as it may be you may h ave to end the relationship.

Does he realize that he is jealous for no good reason? Does he realize that it is his own mind that is making him jealous, that it is his problem and it is not because of anything that you are doing to make him jealous? It’s something he has to realize before he can overcome it.

I know what you must be going thu as I have put my wife thru similar times.It is basically my own insecurity and need to control her that caused me to behave this way.The end result was that she is finally on her own.Its been a couple of months and for a while I was sure she had got involved with this guy ( a friend of mine and a recovering alcoholic ) She tried a lot to reassure me, but like your husband I was unstable and swung from "understanding husband" to "jealous guy".Today at my expense I know that there was nothing between them except platonic love.I could never understand it, still cant really cause I cannot imagine having a close relationship with any woman and not trying to make a pass at least.I am emotionally upset today at her not wanting to have much to do with me, but as it happens I do love her a lot, and today when I see the amount of courage that girl has found in herself, looking at it dispassionately I see how much she gave up to try and please me.I hate to say it, but the truth is that she is doing better without me today then she ever did in our 16 yrs of marriage.I pray that this seperation is only temporary, but I will not blame her for not wanting to reconcile ( she may be scared of becoming a doormat again).Regarding sex she did initiate it many a time but I used it as a tool to control her as we did have good sex together. Take a break before u get to a stage that you get forced into breaking away.Its horrible for both parties.